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The After Funk
By Administrator | May 28, 2008
I’m sitting in my room looking blankly out the window. The day is pretty drab. The weather is cloudy; it’s lukewarm both out and inside. I’ve skipped school, again. (It gets easier the more you do it.) My indie playlist is on repeat on my computer and the music echoes through my head. I can hear the path it takes going in one ear and out the other. I close my eyes and try to turn off my brain. I’m exhausted.
In just over two weeks, I’ve been on a five-day road trip in Southern France that crossed eight cities, then traveled to Paris for two days, New York City for 24 hours, and Paris again for five days. Each trip is sliced with a few days in Montpellier. Everywhere I go my friends are eager social beavers (or is it me).
I haven’t turned off the entire time and now my body is spent, my throat is sore, and I’m sniffling. I’m emotionally drained coming off the travel high but I’m still socially addicted to the continuous stimulation of activity, so I’m battling the scenario in my head of keeping it going versus resting. I only have four days left in France and I want to make the most of them.
I grab a book, Confessions of an Economic Hit Man, and lay down on my bed to read. It’s depressing me because it’s basically what I do for a living, and the effects of this type of work for both the recipients and on our economic dependencies are not pleasant to muster.
I zoom in and out of thinking grand scale thoughts of my life and others in the perspective of time and that’s equally as challenging.
I start thinking about social dynamics and the intricacies of talking to people. I think about my repertoire of stories that I tell over and over to flow conversations and be interesting and I become bored with myself.
I’m in a funk so I get up and go to my computer to write myself out of it. I often feel most alive when I’m able to think my feelings onto paper. I take a moment to reflect on that thought and my phone rings. Three of my friends are coming over to watch a movie. Oh well, it was nice while it lasted.
Topics: Uncategorized |
May 29th, 2008 at 4:48 am
May I suggest you read Built to Last?
May 29th, 2008 at 10:53 am
Hmmm…so I finally read through you blog and the one thing I was hoping to get at least a GLIMPSE of (in the months of me turning away from another ill-fated, one-sided praise-the-game dissertation backslash a waste of time) turns out to be more than a glimpse but a well-phrased, honest, concise, personal observation made on your own behalf:
“I start thinking about social dynamics and the intricacies of talking to people. I think about my repertoire of stories that I tell over and over to flow conversations and be interesting and I become bored with myself.” -M. Siller
Interest isn’t hard to achieve if you are speaking from your core/heart whatever you want to call it. Wise people know the power of silence. Idle talk is wasted time. Thinking sooo very hard about how you are going to land something in the future (women, job, scrilla, yada yada yada) causes you to lose touch with what is happening now, what you are achieving, what are experiencing.
Read this over and over again:
THE FOUR AGREEMENTS
They make a travel copy. It is great for business, love etc. There is your ‘life’…and then there are your ‘life situations’ the latter…just passing noise.
Oh and I am about to finish “Three Cups of Tea” also I read I think you might be inspired by…it’s about Greg Mortenson…dude who built schools etc in Kashimir. Dude is a dude. Speak from the heart, no bullshit, no shame. Be proud of who you are and that pride will come through in everything you do as a true and kind offer.
Where’s the god-damn sun?
S.
May 29th, 2008 at 10:59 am
[…] http://mattsiller.com […]
May 29th, 2008 at 11:10 am
Sarah - i saw the sun today for a split moment while reading your comment. i wish we could pow wow more often.
May 30th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
Dont be so dramatic